So, it happened today.  At least I think it did.  I hope I am wrong but, I am probably not.  Today, May 6, 2012, my daughter climbed up into my lap and fell asleep.  I assume this is the last time this will happen because my “baby” is nine years old and has not climbed up onto her momma for a nap in at least three years.  This momentous event was preceded by a two-sleepover weekend with plenty of giggles and fun times for what she has dubbed “the pre-pre-teens”.  That’s right; my daughter is nine going on twenty.

             She never was much of a napper.  I guess she gets that from me.  When she did nap as a toddler, I would hold my breath, sneaking around the house trying in vain to get some project accomplished.  Inevitably she would roll over at the half hour mark declaring her nap complete.  So, imagine my surprise when she climbed up on my lap this afternoon, attempted to watch an inning of the Orioles game with me and her step-dad, and then promptly began to softly snore in my arms.  Be assured, I made no move to get any chores done.  In fact, I barely moved a muscle trying to prolong this sweet moment with this little lady who usually runs a mile a minute.

            As my arms tightened up I thought about that sweet baby smell she used to have and how it has been replaced by that equally intoxicating (just ask any mom) sweaty little kid smell.  I thought about how her little twenty inch body used to stretch out on my chest and now her “all bony arms and legs” barely fit curled up on the chair with me.  I thought about those exhausting, lovely, peaceful, three a.m. feedings just me and her in the dark on the couch and that familiar feeling of her little body twitching slightly before every muscle relaxed and her breathing evened out and I knew she was in dreamland.

             As my legs fell asleep under the weight of the two of us, I thought about that little white blanket that I used to swaddle her.  She still sleeps with the remnants of that thing every night along with her irreplaceable Teddy.  Other stuffed animals have come and gone but, I think Teddy will eventually be packed into a cardboard box to accompany my grown child on her way to some college campus that will be entirely too far away for me and probably not far enough away for her.

             I suppose some might find it strange that much as I took note of all of those “firsts” like the first tooth or the first time her unsure little legs propelled her around the coffee table, I am so taken with this moment that could be a “last”.  But, as a mother, I hold all of these things in my heart and they are of equal import as they are milestones of a lifetime that I hold so precious - the life of my beautiful daughter.